Transcendence & Grace

Please can you introduce yourself and share anything you would like about your identity?

My name is Grace Oni Smith and I am an oil painter currently based in West Cumbria at Florence Arts Centre. My work explores my experiences as a transgender woman, traversing my beautifully bleak and chaotic life from working as an international show girl, performance artist, sex worker and model. My work has become an essential and triumphant space of catharsis, that allows me to transform my memories into physical objects that live outside of the body, can be examined and ultimately relinquished.

How did you come to arrive in West Cumbria and what were you up to previously?

I attended Whitehaven school in the early noughties and had an incredibly rough ride fighting tooth and nail to just exist as a trans teen, experiencing violence, sexual abuse and being introduced to drugs at a very young age. I left school in 2005 when I was 15 years old moving to Newcastle for a year until moving to London where I became part of the underground club scene and began working as a showgirl, model and sex worker. Living in London was the first time I met people who were like me and it was tremendously freeing in many respects but life is a knife that cuts both ways and I was deeply involved in a hedonistic and boundary less way of being that lasted for 20 years and was almost the undoing of me. I moved to Manchester for many years but my nomadic nature lead me to travel and work internationally as a performance artist, showgirl and sex worker. I lived in Berlin Germany for many years but it was there that my partner at the time and I experienced an incredibly traumatic attack that ultimately sent me into a downward spiral of addiction that lead to me having a full mental breakdown three years ago. I had lost everything and I was incapable of living and was actively attempting to unalive myself. It was then my mother who welcomed me back to live with her in my teenage home of West Cumbria. The last three years have be a traumatic and transformative portal into the best version of life, I am two and a half years sober and my previous performative art practice has shifted into a cathartic and liberating oil painting discipline.

Can you sum your art up for those who aren’t familiar with your work?

My style may be perceived as abstract or surreal but I am deeply dedicated to the human body as an anchor and believe that my work is rooted in realism of sensation. Through my work I aim to move past the image of the object or event and instead impel the sensation of it directly onto the viewers nervous system.

How did you start life as an artist? What are your inspirations and driving factors?

I have been making visual art my whole life, predominantly as a performance artist and cabaret artist but my oil painting practice developed in tandem with my recovery and has been an essential tool for catharsis. It wasn’t until I was welcomed into the creative community at Florence arts centre that I even considered sharing or showing my paintings. It has been a nurturing space that has lead me to a place where I am ready to share and engage with the world again.

As someone coming into Cumbria as a queer person what was your experience like?

If I am honest it has been an incredibly isolating experience but that isolation was the key to my salvation. If it wasn’t for being so cut off I may have continued my damaging and unhealthy ways of being, life is a dualistic experience and it is funny how what is your curse can also be your cure. Coming back to West Cumbria has been an incredible and humbling full circle that has lead me into the best version of life.

How do you think things could be improved for queer people or creative people in West Cumbria?

I think there is a serious lack of community out in the Wild West. There are queer people here but we are a rag tag population without space to collect. Queer people are inherently creative as that is our nature and I think more investment needs to be made into the arts in West Cumbria. The communities and culture of West Cumbria has always built up around industries such as mining and when those industries are taken away it leaves a great sense of absence, like the soul has been removed. It’s not like there aren’t artists and creatives but we need a place to come together and create culture, a scene.

You’re now off to Margate, it’s an amazing place for young up and coming creatives and a fantastic example of how coastal regions can be regenerated through investment in arts and culture, do you think coastal Cumbria could learn from this?

You are absolutely right there, Margate is a fantastic example of what can happen to a seaside town when arts and cultural investment is made and I do believe this is beginning to happen for West Cumbria. I have met twice now with Arts Council UK and they are making a pledge to prioritise investment the west of Cumbria, now is the time for that disbanded population of minority creatives to make funding applications and work towards building a vibrant and unique creative community. We have the raw materials and I feel the spotlight is on West Cumbria as a place in need of investment and opportunity for artists and queer people alike.

Did your experience here influence the work of the new exhibition?

My experiences here have had a tremendous impact on my work for sure, as I mentioned I wouldn’t have discovered the cathartic and therapeutic nature of painting if it weren’t for my time here and my journey of healing has led me to be able to reflect on my life experiences from a different perspective, hindsight is a wonderful thing indeed. This period in my life has culminated in a body of work with looks inward deeply and through creating this work has led me to be able to look outward again, I’m very excited for what may come next.

Can you describe what people should expect when visiting your show?

Im Chaos Der Spiegel [In the Chaos of Mirrors} is my first solo show that charts a period of my life living in Berlin Germany that ultimately resulted in my mental breakdown, bringing me back to West Cumbria. This body of work explores themes of horror, desperation, depravity, addiction, trauma, loss and deep grief but it is also a story of love, rebuilding, growing and ultimately transcendence.

As I have said I have been on a life changing journey of recovery over the last 3 years and my art practice has been an essential tool in my journey of healing, this body of work acts as a gateway into the very best time of my life. It is my wish that people understand that these memory spaces are representations of places that have been manoeuvred, processed and learned from and through doing so they have become triumphant monuments of transcendence and resilience.

What would you like people to take home with them from interacting with your art at Florence?

It’s very healing for me to hear what my art makes people think and feel. I create these objects with my intention but once they are expelled they are there for people to form their own opinions. I think the body of work on show is very challenging but it is honest. If anything I hope people feel inspired to create in the face of adversity. The opposite of depression is not joy it is creation.

How would we tempt you back to Cumbria to work with us in the future?

This place is a part of me in ways I can’t even explain, just because I am moving somewhere to further my career and take the next steps in my life doesn’t mean I am not deeply invested in West Cumbria and the future of the arts and queer community. I am already formulating future projects that are rooted in my personal history and the history of the region. I have made indelible connections with the community at Florence Arts Centre and I hope to continue nurturing and building that into the future. This is not the end but a new beginning for sure.

Any parting words for the young queers in the Wild West?

I suppose, do what feels right to you. Live with passion. Know that all of life’s experiences good or bad are an opportunity to learn. Life is a knife that cuts both ways. It’s better to focus on being malleable in life than strong and rigid. Don’t take life so seriously but also take it very seriously, this life is a tightrope walk between profundity and utter insignificance. In our ever more complex modern life, remember that nature holds the answers to all of life’s questions. Instead of focusing on what has been or what might be, tune into your senses because they draw us into the very moment of our being. Forget about happiness as it is a fleeting emotion, instead focus on contentment. Be kind, be gentle, be compassionate with yourself and others. Know that other people’s perceptions of you are a reflection of them.

I always think of John Waters’ response when he was asked a similar question “I’m queer but I’m mentally ill, I don’t know what you should do”…hahah.

Interview by Stevie

Art by Grace Oni Smith